Re-inventing the Self

I'm staring straight into the face of it again.  It seems to come around every few years during this very different time of life. This time with no full-time employment. Self-reinvention.  One of the benefits of living in the US of A is that we enjoy this luxury.  It often can be stimulating and risky. Som who will I be when I am no longer the person that did these things for so many years.  Who will I be when I haven't a clue what I'll be doing.  Or do I?
Every time I ask the question, the answer is always the same.  Wait and see.
When we lose the structure and routine we've complained about for so long we feel compelled to create a substitute.  For good reason.  Do you know how easy it is to waste a day?  Days?  even a year? Define waste.
OK, waste, as in accomplishing nothing.

I belong to the melting ice school of thought.  As Arthur Miller once noted, we are all trying to "write our name on a cake of ice on a hot July day."  No really.  We just do it in different ways.  In fact, just my writing this page, I'm participating.  It's a simple metaphor.  I write a sentence. Then another one follows.  And another.  I see where it goes.  That's the way to live life in the moment.  Give yourself the time and will to simply experience what will be as it will be.  Unless you are physically ill or incapable of functioning, you really have no complaint with anything.  Sounds too simplistic, but it requires action.  Requires you to become more than you currently are.  That can't be bad.
I suppose that there will soon be some new technology for self-reinvention.  Why not, we've got something for everything else.  Some sci-fi stories and TV shows are already exploring the many faces of transferring thoughts from one brain to another.  How to capture what's inside our heads without losing the poignancy or originality of a thought is quite fascinating.  Like this cartoon I saw earlier today.
If I had a built-in tape recorder or should I now say voice recorder to capture every thought-possibility that rolls through my brain then I'd be rich in thought.  I'd probably have a book or two of some of the best poems, short stories and short essays that I'm capable of producing.  No lament here.  The answer is to just do it myself.

In and Out of History

The boys were very well-behaved despite the constant rain and sticky mud.  When the 2018 version of the Preakness was over, there were no real surprises, but a glimmer of what is yet to come.  Justify continued his perfect streak and set himself up perfectly for a Triple Crown attempt, but whether or not his performance was impressive, or at least as impressive as the previous ones, remains in doubt.

That will set up the Belmont perfectly with an air of doubt and the chance to pull an upset.  It's possible that Justify could fall short because of the distance of the race and because the Triple Crown trail is paved with thorns and remains a grueling ordeal.
I'm reminded how easily names and places fall in and out of history.  Some wither on the brink and some enter cemented in place.  Even a 1200 pound thoroughbred who consistently displays all the speed and stamina of a true champion can appear vulnerable in the eyes of the knowing.
The fragility of something perceived to be strong and everlasting was much in evidence in a number of ways this week.  So it was with the announcement that Marylhurst University is closing.
Marylhurst is the small private Catholic university at which I have worked part-time for the last 10 years.  The fact that it is small, private and Catholic means nothing to me.  The fact that it values diversity, began a Masters in Teaching program devoted to social justice and equity in education, means everything.  I've been fortunate to work with beginning teachers going through that program for the last decade and now, mostly because of low enrollment, the school will be forced to close.  There will be much sadness, but those who will find themselves suddenly out of a job or a program should land on their feet.  At least a half-dozen other universities and colleges, some in the same financial shape, will be more than happy to pick up these students.  Many of the faculty will continue their work at other institutions.  In a few years, it'll all be remembered fondly.  I hope.  For now, we all do well to remember that the impermanence of everything constantly stalks our lives.  As for myself, I'm going to retire...again.  At least I can afford to take some time off and do some self-reinvention.  I was indecisive about how long I wanted to stay involved in public education and now the decision has been made for me.  Doors and windows.  The future is uncertain, but like the Belmont Stakes coming up in a few weeks, the possibility and potential for something good loom large in the homestretch.

Preak-ish

Every time a Kentucky Derby winner runs in the Preakness, which is almost every year, we have the potential for a Triple Crown winner.  So it will be on Saturday as Justify continues to carve his name into the tree of history at Pimlico.
Being the oldest racetrack in the nation, save Saratoga, Pimlico will dust off its ancient grounds, polish the silver, and once again host the eye of the nation and the best 3-year olds currently in training.

Once again, too, the naysayers and East/West bias holders will spit out their theories and reinforce the mythology about the tight turns Pimlico seems to have.  They'll take a stand against Justify, the favorite, and pontificate till their ears turn red.  Probably, Justify will romp easily and prove that the Belmont is the true test of a 3-year-old champion.  We've seen this so many times that it's predictable.
Still, with the strong undercard, the buzz in the air and the thousands all decked out for a special day, it'll be fun all day.  I say this all right now because you have to say it a few days before the race to have any credibility.  Yet, there are so many variables in horse racing, the cliches that "anything can happen" and "that's why they run the race," will put in an appearance or two as well.
I recall a trip to Baltimore that saw me find my way to Pimlico about 20 years ago.  It was a week before the Preakness and I'd come to Baltimore to attend a conference on teacher research.  The organization that sent me urged me to arrive a couple of days before the conference so I could see a bit of Baltimore.  I walked the inner harbor, cracked some crab with a few colleagues and then one bright Thursday morning, figured out how I might get out to Pimlico on public transit.
A very gregarious homeless person tutored me in how the light rail system worked.  Tickets were dispensed by a machine that only dispensed Susan B. Anthony dollar coins.  Having only a $20. bill, I now had a round trip ticket to the station nearest to Pimlico and about 12 dollar coins to spare.  I gave a few Susans to my "guide," who much to my relief accurately told me what station to exit and exited the train himself,  before my stop.
I was to catch a bus to Pimlico from the railway station, but nobody knew which number bus.
Problem easily solved when I just followed 3 elderly gentlemen who were discussing the Racing Form spread out in front of them at the bus stop.  Within minutes, I was at Pimlico.
Like many historical sites, it seemed smaller than it appeared in pictures and photos.  I recall Mt. Rushmore did too.

But there is a quality about a racetrack that holds true any place you go.  They are usually laid out similarly, so you have the phenomena of feeling at home almost instantly.  I fund the saddling paddock, the clubhouse, the bet/cash windows, and the obvious places for restrooms and where the programs and Racing Forms are sold.  I like to watch races from various locations, so at a venue I'm exploring for the first time, I am constantly moving.  Each race is a separate puzzle with a cast of characters both human and equine.
My day at Pimlico was fun but not really one of the more memorable ones I've had at a track for the first time.  Nevertheless, when Justify steps on the historical dirt of Pimlico and the band strikes "Maryland My Maryland," I'll remember Pimlico, and toast the Preakness winner and Susan B. Anthony simultaneously.