Skip to main content

Father's Day Leaves Memories


My father never promised much. So when he did, the expectation was always a little overboard. Like the time he was all set for his vacation and lost his job on the eve of a special dinner to celebrate the event. The bottle of white wine chilled in the refrigerator for the next ten years.
At his worst, he was distant, brooding, obsessive-compulsive, and underachieving. At his best, he was warm, tactile, intelligent, and romantic. I owe my interest in literature, history, politics, and music to him. He often told me that I reminded him of my mom, and that brought us closer after her death. I don't think he ever got over the fact that she died at 54. His death came 10 years later at 71.
My father bought into his own chiseled version of the American dream. I love this photo of my sister and me smiling as he dutifully cuts the grass. Could this moment in time bring contentment? Aside from the house payment and the two kids in the suburbs, his was a world of July 4th picnics and parades, baseball doubleheaders, dramatic political conventions, and neighborhood gatherings to celebrate wedding anniversaries, birthdays, and mild weather.
My father was really a New Yorker all his life. Even though I'd never been in New York with him, he lived partly in the San Fernando Valley and partly in New York. He never drove a car. He loved baseball and was a loyal Giants fan, not too easy in L.A.
When I think of my father, I think of his dedication to our front lawn. I could never rake the leaves or mow the lawn correctly. I gave up trying. Wish I had known then about that lawn being one of the only things he could control. How it became such a wonderful metaphor for his life. I remember one windy Saturday morning after all the leaves were raked and the lawn mowed his way, (first North/South and then East/West) he stood there a minute and then as one or two leaves blew off the big Silver Maple tree n the front yard, he'd go back and pick them up. He did this for about 15 minutes. I was peeking out of the living room window, where I was sneaking a look at the Major League game of the week, watching him wait, gather up a few new leaves, and then stand back. After he finally walked up the driveway, a dozen more leaves trickled to the ground. Something Sisyphean about his life. Perhaps all life.

Comments

the immediate post-war period is so interesting. there's the relief of having won, the promise of what could be done next, and (ironically i think, for the champions of 'freedom') the perceived responsibility to fit into very narrow social roles. and all this in a world that was just inventing suburban life, changing from a pretty-much rurual country to a pretty-much suburban country. i think it's no wonder people were confused and content all at the same time. american history seems to just move way too fast for its citizens to keep up. it's just too much, too fast...

Popular posts from this blog

To a Tee

 I'm a sucker for a good t-shirt.  They are the foundational garment of my life.  My day starts with selecting a t-shirt and it ends with sleeping in one.  Once thought of as under garments, t-shirts are now original art and no doubt, a billion dollar business.   You can get a t-shirt with anybody's picture displayed.  You can commemorate an event, a birthday, a death, even a specular play in any sport.  Family reunions usually have a commemorative t-shirt.  Also, any organization that solicits your support in the form of a donation is likely to offer you a t-shirt. Where once I only had the basic white t-shirt, my drawers are filled with all manner of colorful choices.  Some recognize major events in my life, some, spectacular performances or plays I have witnessed, and some unforgettable places I have been.   I say I'm a sucker for a good t-shirt because I have taken the bait on what I perceived as a must-have only to be disappointed. ...

Body Language

I'm sitting there in a hospital gown, waiting for my doctor to complete my yearly physical.  This is when I look at everything on the walls, read the medical posters, the instructions on any equipment in the room, look in every corner and behind every chair.  I study the paper on the examination table, laugh out loud at the picture of a smiling child holding a bouquet of broccoli, and the note the placement of the computer in the room. Finally, wondering if the gown I'm wearing is on correctly, I focus on myself.  At this point in my life I'm fairly comfortable in a doctor's office.  But it always seems to take so long when waiting for the doc to enter.  So I fidget.  Then I begin a tour of myself.  Scars are tattoos.  I look at the one on my knee and see myself at 12.  Whittling a piece of wood with my Boy Scout jack knife.  The blade slips and I cut a crescent slash through my jeans and into my flesh for life.  50 years later ...

Sex, Religion, and Politics

Watching TV to keep up with the news is like going to a party.  Sex, religion and politics, in any order.  Those are the topics of choice.  We hear about "twerking," and are confronted with all manner of exhibitionism in local news.  Should women be wearing yoga pants in non-yoga areas.  The office, the workplace, school, church...and that's just the teachers! Religion encroaches in all the right places.  Christian Mingle, the online dating service pops up on the screen during the grisliest of crime shows, the politician's speeches and the sit-coms so full of sexual innuendo that every second of canned laughter barely hides the grins, the gasps, the outcries, or the mindless guffaws. So what's the message?  Are we a society and culture in decline or just rapidly changing?  Probably both.  I recall a student once coming to school with a most offensive tee shirt.  Offensive in that the cartoon image on the front made it impossible for hi...