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Conflicthood




We drive miles
                so we can walk,

We take the time to do what took very little time

              before,

Simple acts, reading a newspaper, buying an apple

             become identity conflicts,

We inch out our loyalty, embarrassed but air conditioned,
 
     mindful, but out of touch,  in earnest,

waiting...for  this move to be complete.


Funny how when people move, they return to their old neighborhoods, again and again, and depend on the familiarity to function.  W've been doing just that for the past few weeks.  Almost in
defiance of logic and our own intelligence we seek the companionship of familiar friends and knowing where to find each day's necessities.
It will not last forever.  But for now, in uncommon hot weather day after day, it seems to be working.
Is this the price of making a tough decision?  I know it cannot last.  I don't even want it to last, but like an addiction, it gives momentary relief and eases some deep felt but illogical pain.
Perhaps when the weather changes, it will be easier to explore the new neighborhood, make new friends and feel a part of something bigger on the horizon.  Maybe it will take a hard rain to fall before that happens.  We have time.  That seems to be the key here.  It's not all that far and if it brings some sort of illicit pleasure, some geographical guilt as well, then it will go on and on for a bit.

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