Sunday, October 15, 2017

Walk a Few Miles

That this country, the USA, is deeply divided is not news.  We've been that way since the inception.  In fact, it's in our DNA and we value that diversity of viewpoints.  What is new, however, is that the divides seem deeper than ever before.
Countless stories surface of people not being able to talk to one another.  If the sight and sound of political commentators and policy wonks talking over one another, no, shouting over one another is any indication, we are in new territory.  So how can anything move forward in an environment of so much verbal toxicity?
Empathy is the only answer, in my view.  Say it again, empathy.  People need to walk a few miles in the other guy's moccasins, as native Americans would say.
There are many ways to walk those miles, too.  That was the theory when I went through my training as a VISTA Volunteer.  For two weeks, we altruistic, recent college grads lived in the homes with families that had very little.  Poor folks.  People who lived in "shotgun shacks" or on the other side of very dicey railroad tracks.  Yes, it was awkward, at times, but it was also eye-opening.  Not coming from wealth, for me there were no great surprises, but living in a household where 4 children shared one bed and slept horizontally so everybody could fit on the mattress, is not easily forgotten.  Neither are the meals made by a single parent from surplus commodities like government cheese and oversize cans of green beans and peanut butter. When we share an experience or better yet have the same experience on an emotional level, we won't soon forget.

The best definition of empathy I've ever seen says it is the ability to feel the whip on the other person's back.  Easily understood.
So along comes comedian Sarah Silverman with a new TV show based on this very premise.  In episode one she goes to New Orleans to spend time with a family of Trump voters who have never known a Jewish person.  Silverman jokes, to be sure, but she also deals with strong emotions that surface during her attempts at political discussions.  This family is unfortunately badly misinformed about everything from Barak Obama's country of birth to how they feel about gay folks raising children, but Silverman's warmth comes through and before she leaves we are hearing fewer jokes and seeing genuine hugs.  Even from the youngest member present, 10-year-old Blaze who first responded to Silverman's question, "Have you ever knows a Jew," with "What's that?"
Put simply, we need to live in a world where we share a common experience in order to bridge this awful divide.  Social engineering has resulted in s few misguided attempts.  Just the sound of that term infuriates some folks, but when we continue to live in a bubble made of the same food, the same music, the same colors, the same ideas, and the same people, we hardly challenge ourselves.  Some really bad Hollywood have exploited the "fish out of water" theme in vain attempts to build empathy. The man who wakes up a woman,  the woman who suddenly is 10 feet tall, the old switcheroo involving age, or ethnicity, or gender, or class (wealth) can only go so far and last so long before it's stale,but at least it is something.  What needs to happen now of for more opportunities to stand in someone elses shoes and begin to negotiate their life for a few days.

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