Smoke in My Eyes

Maybe it was the masks.  People walking around with surgical masks over their mouths and noses do add a dystopic element to reality.  Sonoma county is usually noted for the quality of the wine it produces.  Wine that becomes exceptional because of the ideal growing conditions.  Lots of clean water and a very temperate climate.  But after spending a week in Northern California...a week breathing toxic air from the horrendous wildfires that now extend the fire season into winter, the reality we face is as topsy-turvey as ever.

As Bob Dylan asked during another dystopic time in our lives "..and you know something's happening, and you don't know what it is, do you Mr. Jones?"
Something is definitely happening. The fire season has lengthened, the hills are dry and dryer.  The climate is not what it once was. It's changed. To those who deny, the only response can be... It's the environment, stupid.
The week piled on more bad news.  Florida is incapable of having an election and the shocking news that one of my most memorable students took her life.
In Oregon we vote by mail.  It's so much easier and eliminates all the problems accompanying voting machines and human beings.  Sure, our ballots still have to be counted, but that's a minor chore compared to all the drama circling around a Florida election day.  Besides, it saves money.  One postage stamp rather than  maintenance to outdated machines.  Let's do it right, have a holiday and mail in a ballot.  Easy as you please.
Sure, it's been 30 years since Rachel was in my classroom, but when a person has a certain light in their eyes, an empathetic soul, and the intelligence to make the most of those qualities, they are easily recalled.
This loss was another attributable to chronic depression.  That there seems to be an epidemic of said disorder, there can be no doubt.  What swirls through my brain is the often repeated phrase, "but she seemed so happy, so centered, so passionate about living."  Like so many others, most of us who loved and cared for this young woman were dumbstruck.  How could this happen?  Didn't anybody know the distress she was suffering? Apparently not.  That's what hurts so much.
We can breathe wildfire smoke, we can see it, and we can all too often taste it.  No so with a person's emotional state.  It's easier to block pain than it is to stop the penetration of smoke and fire.
Both are like earthquakes.  They arrive suddenly and wreck havoc...unexpectedly.