Accountable

 Some say we've raised a generation of "snowflakes." That is, kids who have been overprotected and are not ready for some of the harsh realities they are sure to face as adults.  To be sure, corporal punishment is not the answer, but to  toughen up many young people, some changes will need to happen.

My parents were loving people.  Perhaps why I received the "empathy gene."  Of course my personality is only part heredity, but the environment I experienced taught me to consider the feelings of others consistently.  Yet, as a child I received, on rare occasions the sting of a hand or a belt.  My sister and I called it "the strap." It was an old leather belt of my father's and it hung inside on the door of a broom closet.  Of course we weren't hit with the buckle of the belt, but that leather strap stung just enough.  Today, thinking back on those times the strap found my arms or legs, I'm mildly shocked.  It seems incongruous that kind people like my parents would do this.  Today, it would be considered child abuse by many.  

I can't recall what I may have done to get hit with the strap because I was an other well-behaved kid.  I have a non-confrontive personality, so perhaps I violated some house rule, or whined uncontrollably about something. In any case, I remember the strap because one time my sister and I decided to hang a belt of mine in the broom closet and label it as suitable for our parents.  It didn't remain there long.  

For one year in the early 1980s I taught at a predominantly African American Middle School.  It was after major cutbacks and my seniority at the high school where I was originally hired wasn't enough to keep me there for the following school year. Though I was only there for one year, I recall an experience where corporal punishment was the way to go.  

When I had to refer a 7th grade student of mine to his counselor, I was invited  to the conference.  The student was disrupting the learning environment with his behavior and testing my limits so the referral was necessary.  What I subsequently found out was that he lived with an elderly grandmother.  His parents were not in his life and his counselor, an older African American woman, knew the only discipline he'd get would be there, that day.  

After discussing the situation with hm, the counselor was assured that his behavior would improve.  Then she said to him, "you know what happens now. " He nodded and she opened her desk drawer.  Almost  automatically the student extended his hands, and she struck  him across the knuckles with a ruler.  I was silently incredulous.  But I got that this was acceptable to them.  It was, no doubt cultural as well.  

I had a friend with four kids who had his own form of reminder when one of his own needed some stern discipline.  He'd stop whatever they were doing, and get a look on his face. The kid would lower his head and he'd grab a lock of hair and give it a firm tug.  It wasn't a painful hair pull, but rather a short, firm tug. They got the message.  

I don't necessarily advocate these measures, but I do feel that those kids on the other end of firm reminders   are better off for the consequences of their behavior being accountable.