We all have them. Those "friends" who hover around and over the fringes of our lives whose political beliefs are the direct opposite of our own. Some times they come in handy when we want to think about what the "other side" believes and what informs those beliefs. For me, these folks come from very disparate parts of my life. That could be from specific interests I have like fly fishing, or horse racing, or writing, or even my generation. Usually our close friends, especially those we have maintained relationships with for decades have compatible political beliefs. We almost take for granted that the people we hold close will see things the way we do.
And then there is family. The classic trope of the family holiday dinner that has to avoid any talk of politics is repeated thousands of times every year. That Aunt or Uncle or a distant cousin who seems to be radically conservative or liberal does really make regular appearances. But back to our own friendships, how many do we value that feature a person whose beliefs are drastically than our own.
Certainly social media has fostered these uncomfortable friendships. In fact, I've seen a trend lately of some people I know beginning to cull their "friends" based on political beliefs. I'm not sure that this is a good idea because only interacting with the converted has real dangers. But each of us has had that moment when we see that someone we previously thought was well-informed has had a bit of the Kool-Aid that often gets consumes by the politically naive. We're shocked, disappointed, and sometimes angry that this is so.
If we encounter our "friend" and fall into a lively discussion...well, you know where that usually leads. I think the key here is to disagree in a way that helps to inform and in no way disparages, insults, or degrades another human being. There is a brilliant power that comes from expressing a viewpoint with one's emotions in check. I realize that this cannot always be done, and I for one tend to err on the side of being too emotional. That can have positive connotations, but the level-headed, articulate, respectful expression of one's position always wins the day.
I'm reminded of a student I once had in a World History class. When the class was in the middle of an emotional discussion and had to be reminded to speak one at a time, he'd hold back. His peers valued his comments but had to wait until order was restored. Then, I'd call on him and he'd smile as the class turned around to face him. He always prefaced his remarks with the phrase, "Here's what I think." I marveled at his ability to be heard by all. If only that trait were teachable. Today, on talk shows and panel discussions we see people constantly talking over one another. Perhaps our technological advances can come up with a solution. Maybe when people talk over another their microphones could go off, or a red light could blink indicating that we can't understand any of you people when you speak over one another. Wonder how much dead air (silence) that would yield?
And then there is family. The classic trope of the family holiday dinner that has to avoid any talk of politics is repeated thousands of times every year. That Aunt or Uncle or a distant cousin who seems to be radically conservative or liberal does really make regular appearances. But back to our own friendships, how many do we value that feature a person whose beliefs are drastically than our own.
Certainly social media has fostered these uncomfortable friendships. In fact, I've seen a trend lately of some people I know beginning to cull their "friends" based on political beliefs. I'm not sure that this is a good idea because only interacting with the converted has real dangers. But each of us has had that moment when we see that someone we previously thought was well-informed has had a bit of the Kool-Aid that often gets consumes by the politically naive. We're shocked, disappointed, and sometimes angry that this is so.
If we encounter our "friend" and fall into a lively discussion...well, you know where that usually leads. I think the key here is to disagree in a way that helps to inform and in no way disparages, insults, or degrades another human being. There is a brilliant power that comes from expressing a viewpoint with one's emotions in check. I realize that this cannot always be done, and I for one tend to err on the side of being too emotional. That can have positive connotations, but the level-headed, articulate, respectful expression of one's position always wins the day.
I'm reminded of a student I once had in a World History class. When the class was in the middle of an emotional discussion and had to be reminded to speak one at a time, he'd hold back. His peers valued his comments but had to wait until order was restored. Then, I'd call on him and he'd smile as the class turned around to face him. He always prefaced his remarks with the phrase, "Here's what I think." I marveled at his ability to be heard by all. If only that trait were teachable. Today, on talk shows and panel discussions we see people constantly talking over one another. Perhaps our technological advances can come up with a solution. Maybe when people talk over another their microphones could go off, or a red light could blink indicating that we can't understand any of you people when you speak over one another. Wonder how much dead air (silence) that would yield?
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